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Choices

Had quite the adventure over the past few days.

Thing 1: Went to the dentist, whom I"ve been seeing for fifty years, yes that"s fifty years... anyway, I had some dental work done, absolutely painlessly which was great! But I told him, no mercury! He said they didn"t even have any, they don"t use it anymore, haven"t for quite a while. On the way out, I stop by the front desk, tell them I"ll be happy just to pay them then and there, but Desk Person said they don"t even have a card machine and they need to send it to the insurer first. Desk Person predicts that they won"t pay, because they didn"t use mercury--which, of course you know, is quite toxic--but the non-toxic and superior stuff, they won"t pay for.

So the insurer will pay for toxic chemicals that doctor says specifically not to use, but won"t pay for non-toxic chemicals that the doctor specifically calls for.

This, by me, is not good.

Then, on another day, I had quite a chat with a friend I"ve had for years and years. And years. And years. But that"s a different story. Anyway, Friend is going through hard times, that stuff happens when you get to be Our Age, they spoke of their issues, I spoke of mine. There was a difference... Friend"s issues come down to choices. Choose one way, there are costs and benefits,  choose the other there are different costs and different benefits. I suggested they just do the math, count up the cost and benefit, and see what total cost/benefit you prefer. Well, Friend wasn"t quite ready to go down that road, but from my point of view, that road has to be gone down, and will be gone down. Easy for me to say, it being Someone Else"s Problem.

We spoke of my issues, and I didn"t see a lot of choices. It"s a true thing that I need at least some supervision  just to be safe... someone needs to be in the house to make sure I don"t hit the floor when making transfers, I"m getting better at it but it"s really safer to have someone hanging out Just In Case.   My ever-kind and ever-supportive wife has found some renta-care-givers who are truly superior, but there"s a cash cost to them, and although they give my wife some breathing space and let her get out of the damned house and not be chained to me for a well-needed break, there"s a cost. I"ve had a completely free and quite supportive friend look after me from time to time, but said friend has landed a job and isn"t always available. At all. Same for other friends, who are busy with jobs and such... See a pattern?

I really do choose not to hit the floor, but simply making that choice doesn"t always help. Who in a wheelchair wouldn"t choose to be able to walk?

So that"s the question before me... what choices am I making? Are they good ones? Are they wise ones? What choices am I making that are really and truly my choices? And are they good ones?

As ever...

We"ll see.

Interesting stuff the MS Highway puts before us who follow that path.

But interesting... well, we"ve got plenty of that, don"t we?

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Today"s prescription

Here"s something for us all to do, gentle readers:

Pay attention.

I am finding that during certain hours, some things work very well, and during others, they don"t. Early in the morning, all the transfers from wheelchair to anything else go quite well, quite easily, quite simply. During other hours, they don"t go so well and I far too frequently have to call for assistance from a caregiver or my always-amazing wife. Things like move my legs to wherever, help pull up my shorts (trivial to do with two free legs, not always trivial to do with one hand holding me up and one hand on said shorts). Is there something to do about it? I haven"t found it yet. But it does keep my attention focused.

And the simplicity of "pay attention" is a good prescription for anyone, MS or not. So, that"s the call for all of us, gentle reader, and certainly what I have to do quite soon to do the Early Morning Bathroom Rituals, but fortunately said stuff goes best in the early morning so let"s do it and exult in the victories. But before one can rejoice about them, one must perceive them. So, dear readers, i share my prescription with you:

Pay attention.